Porn the killer of self esteem, confidence and ability to connect and keep quality women. It riddles you with guilt, shame, arrogance and anger. It's your worst enemy and you may not even know it.

It's exceptionally dangerous to you if you don't even realize it's a problem. That's when you are fully in the grasp of the trap.

For 20 years I consumed porn regularly. I didn't even think it was a problem. It was so available and nobody talked about it.

Maybe a girlfriend would talk about it but where's their credibility? Of course they don't want you watching it because it takes away from them.

That said, it's easy to pass it off as "Oh she's just jealous" or the like. Women are often discounted on the subject because they don't understand that men are visual creatures.

I often discounted my girlfriends and ex wife on the topic. I didn't think porn was a big deal.

It just seemed like every male looked at it and in fact a large percentage of men actually do. I never could've imagined myself getting rid of the porn habit. I enjoyed it too much.

It's so addicting and it frees you from negative emotions and boredom (but only temporarily until they resurface). It's difficult to see the issues with it and that's what makes it so dangerous for your mental health.

You're in a constant state of escaping yourself. This results in avoidance of growing into a more functional high value man. You become more attractive when you're not ruled by compulsive desires.

Over time porn becomes a crutch of arousal. I remember using porn in times when my intimate relationships faced challenges.

The result was a further disconnect from the relationship which affirmed the breaking of it. Porn gives you access to the most ecstatic imagery you could imagine.

As you keep indulging in this premium level ecstasy it takes more to arouse you as time progresses. You lose the ability to genuinely make love with natural attraction.

More extreme cases of this is erectile dysfunction which happens to many avid porn users. I personally experienced the loss of arousal to my girlfriends and ex-wife.

I got so bored by the end of my 11 year marriage that I asked to open the relationship. I needed something new because I was no longer satisfied physically.

The result of quitting porn immediately after our separation changed me. It made me realize how much I actually appreciated the physical in my ex-wife.

I wanted her back for a while but have now come to accept moving forward without her. I'm happy to say that we live in harmony though. This helps a lot because we share custody of our children.

I confidently say that porn caused cracks in my marriage which led to separation. It was the main reason for the boredom which led to the break up.

So once separation happened I was left realizing the challenge for me to connect with new women. It's because I'm quite introverted and prefer to keep to myself most of the time.

Not only that but I had insecurities that developed in me from the years of consuming porn. I felt intimidated by beautiful women to the point where I would be frozen inside.

This freeze up is a result of guilt and shame from porn consumption. I realized there was a big barrier for me to overcome so I could feel comfortable connecting with new beautiful girls.

Whatever the fuck it was going to take I was ready to embark on this journey. So I did. I knew the porn had to go as the first order of business.

I remember my ex advising me (when we were together) to stop looking at porn so that I could have neutral convos with women. I did make effort to stop the porn at that time but it kept creeping back in.

After separation and as time passed I began to consider her advice more and more. I felt it was the path to freedom for me.

I decided I had enough of this life of suffering so I stopped porn altogether and have not looked back. It has been 4 years and I'm now happy to be free from those compulsive desires.

Where I was once ruled by ephemeral urges I'm now the ruler in complete independence. Free from the dependency of lustful addiction.

The resulting change that took place in me is like night and day. I used to go out and not even be able to be around hotties. I would avoid them.

I'd be just hoping somehow I could connect with beautiful girls but it didn't happen because of my avoidance. I was not confident in myself.

I wore the cloak of guilt, shame and suspected everyone knew what I kept hidden. Well the highly feminine does know! Intuition is ingrained in them.

You bring insecurities around with you when your mind is filled with compulsive desires. You can't hide it because of the way you feel inside. I went through it.

It limits your capacity to connect with real human women. After I got off the porn and went out women were magnetized to me and I did nothing out of the ordinary.

No pick up lines, just a few innocent convos is all it took for my DMs to be filled with women. Convos without the aspect of lust lurking in the back of my mind.

I also no longer have any neediness to outcomes of talking to women. If they're interested in me fine, if not fine.

I found neutral ground with women where I can now be relatable as another human. They feel this.

This is the ultimate transformation for me. When you achieve this state you are head and shoulders above most men.

You exhibit self control and integrity in the world. It's a new found confidence because you're no longer hiding anything. There's no guilt or shame in your psyche.

You vibes are clean and pure and this is what divine feminine goddesses find attractive. Lust continually leads to the path of suffering.

It leads to connections that don't last that you wish did. When you're lustful you're heavily identified with your ego. The ego has a self destruct mechanism which leads to relationship sabotage.

If you pursue a relationship only for sexual pleasures you're on a sure path of losing that relationship. That relationship that you crave will leave you due to lacking the bond of love.

Porn skips the element of human relation and only gets you to a means to an end. It puts you in a lustful mindset which cripples your ability to relate to beautiful women.

You lose the element of trust because the feminine intuits your impurity. Your moments of happiness are quite short while long term suffering grasps you.

Loneliness is your underlying emotion which you distract yourself from with the habit of porn. I used to turn to it to evade all forms of negative emotions.

It was all too easy. That's the danger because although pleasurable in the moment it furthers you from real sexual connections.

The steps to real sexual contact are always skipped when you watch porn. It's instant gratification so you lose practice on relating to women in real life.

Not only that but you hold a sense of attachment to the outcome of sex. Seeing women for objects of sex is a toxic state of mind.

If you live your entire life with little human connection knowing you looked at porn only you would have lived a shallow existence. The depth of love is food for the soul.

With a porn habit you drift further from real physical connection and love. This leaves you empty and unhappy when you reflect on your life.

If you already have an intimate relationship it hinders the longevity of it because you lose interest in your partner. There are so many hotter girls in porn that you'll lose magnetism to her.

The relationship breaks eventually or likely becomes a roommate experience. At the same time you drift further from real life intimacy into a sad hole of emotional escape.

I did this for 20 years not knowing the consequences until I finally came out of it. Now that I'm 4 years clean and clear I know the contrast from experience.

It's like night and day. As an introvert I prefer not to socialize much as it is. This creates a challenge when it comes to connecting with women.

I used to avoid social connection altogether or only engage socially only when intoxicated. After cutting porn from my life I now feel confident in myself through integrity in social settings.

No alcohol needed and my avoidance to socializing has diminished considerably. I know myself better now that I'm not continually running from me.

This allows me the clarity of mind to discern which social situations serve me and when. There's no more dirty energy when I'm talking to women.

I feel that they are magnetized to me and enjoy my presence. I'm liberated from the chains of lust. They no longer hold me hostage.

Lust creates a needy energy that women can feel. Your desires emanate off you and a feminine woman feels it easily.

Feminine women are highly intuitive. You don't sneak by their radar so when you live in lust you repulse the feminine.

In the past when I spoke to beautiful women the conversations were usually short because I sabotaged the possibility of connecting with them. Guilt riddled me and I assumed they felt it which they probably did.

Basically my chances with them plummeted because of this self imposed prison. I even assumed men knew that I was weak because of porn.

I walked around with insecurities because of this addiction. It seemed there was no way out of it and I enjoyed it all too much.

I stand today to tell you the impossible is possible. I now have no problem talking to beautiful women. My vibes are pure so I'm received well every time.

My self confidence has radically shifted while lustful desires have fallen by the wayside. I still feel a strong connection to sexuality but it's a healthy one.

The desire for beautiful women remains but it has little control over me anymore. I am now king of my domain and you can be too.

Here's how:

The Independent King Method

1) Cut the porn entirely

This is the most crucial step to becoming a high value man for a quality love to enter your life. Without this you may land a relationship but it will expire before it's time.

Porn is the killer of lasting intimacy. It has happened to me time and time again. The effect of porn is that it creates a disconnect with the real world.

It creates a dependency and you lose the sense of arousal with real women. Thus you slip farther into the lonely hole of lust.

I wrote a few articles on how to overcome porn. You can check out the latest one here.

Your entire vibe changes when you lift this burden from your conscience.

2) Embrace your independence

For years I jumped from relationship to relationship as many people do to avoid loneliness. This avoids the most crucial step to a break up... learning from the break up.

Reflecting on a break up helps to identify flaws for you to outgrow. Accountability is your best friend because it paves the road to a stronger version of you for a higher quality lover.

Going from relationship to relationship fosters needy energy. This is feminine energy. If you want to be in your divine masculine vibe be willing to let go and be alone indefinitely.

It is a masculine trait to embrace being alone. Alone time is the most fertile soil for growth. It allows you to reflect, forgive, accept and grow.

If you recently came out of a break up, examine your part in the failure of the relationship. This let's you develop those areas that contributed to it's demise.

Consume material in the form of books, Youtube vids and other means of finding answers to those flaws. Take the time as a single man to practice new ways of being.

Make time for the things you love because in a relationship you rarely make time for them. For instance I started to rollerblade again on the streets because I love it.

It gives me a feeling of liberation. For you it might be riding a motorcycle or any activity that sets you free.

Independence is an attractive quality to the feminine. When you're not chasing women they will instead be drawn to you because you are embodying the masculine (the capacity to be alone indefinitely).

There's something greater and deeper about embracing your independence.... it's getting in touch with your true self.

Many people don't know who their true self is because they identify strongly with their ego. There are 2 parts to being a human, your ego and your essence/energy (your true identity).

Your ego is never satisfied and is always needing more. So being alone is hard for your ego. It craves connection to fill a hole.

There is no hole. Listening to your ego leads to pain caused by thoughts that you're in lack. It's an illusion.

You are whole and complete already. When you realize your essence which is the real you, you need nothing.

You are painless, fearless and infinite. To realize this state of being you need to stop habitual thinking and just surrender to the moment that is now.

The state of thoughtless awareness is the state which transcends the illusion of loneliness caused by thoughts alone (aka your ego). The ego creates illusions all the time.

Tap into your essence by letting go of thought and in that you are embodying the pinnacle of masculine attraction (aka presence). I wrote an article here about how to practice presence.

3) Fuel yourself into greatness

In your time as a single you will have lots of energy to dedicate to self care. This includes physical training, personal development and honing your craft.

A masculine man's purpose in life is his mission. There's nothing more appealing to the feminine than a man who's self reliant and who has direction.

The foundation of masculinity is to provide, which goes hand in hand with pursuing your mission. When you make your means of income out of that which you enjoy doing you'll never work a day in your life. It's the path to prosperous fulfillment.

As you dedicate yourself to your mission, physical training and personal development you are slowly and surely becoming an irresistible offer for quality women. Many men give up and turn to substance which leaves nothing for them to offer.

The path of discipline is masculine. Decide on a direction with your craft and pursue it. Adjustments can be made along the way.

With these tools I have personally transformed my psyche to a whole new level. I've learned to appreciate being alone and not to settle on sub-quality love prospects.

I am taking to my throne as king of my domain by fueling myself into physical strength, mental strength and masculine presence. It feels good to be here after many years of turmoil.

May these tools fuel you into your kingship. If you want to rid yourself of porn to step into high value right away I offer short term 1-on-1 counselling.

I give you all the tips customized to you in an affordable 1 hour call to get you over your biggest challenges.

To get started DM me the word "divine" at any social media links below. Please subscribe to my newsletter below for more on becoming a high value man in mind, body and soul.

Much love brother!

-Kush Wood

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