6 Ways to Turn Challenge into Resilience

On Dec 26th 2022 I discovered I had been defrauded more than half of my life savings of $41,000. Yes I know, Merry Christmas! Less than 2 weeks later the transmission blew out on moving day with all my belongings in the box of my pick up truck. It was raining and it was also the day I gained custody of my 4 children as a single parent.

I planned to arrive at my new home before my ex dropped the kids off to me. She texted me several hours earlier than the usual drop off time to say that she was almost at my house. Talk about waking up to a time bomb!

I was still a 2 hour drive on the highway to the new house and shortly after.. it happened. The truck was revving but not moving forward. I pulled over on the highway to check under the hood. I didn't see any obvious red flags (although I have limited auto-mechanic knowledge).

Long story short I was able to drive slowly to a mechanic who informed me the transmission would need a rebuild/replacement. Yay! I bought this truck just over a year ago and believe I overpaid.

This happened while I was still digesting the very recent defrauding of my savings. C'est la vie!

In November 2022 I matched with a girl on Tinder who's profile reflected a city near mine. As we spoke I asked her about the investments she was into (her profile stated she was an investor). She taught me about a new growing crypto currency. At this time I'm very interested in investing my savings to grow them passively so I listen to her advice intently.

She claimed she was in Japan and returning to my area around Christmas to visit. Over the course of less than 2 months I pumped my savings into what I thought was a crypto investment only to later find that it was an elaborate scam.

I reflected and felt bad that I was so naive and did minimal research. I just opened my heart and trusted. I believe in a spiritual sense that I'm always in the right place at the right time. Regardless of that belief, I was totally taken advantage of.

This could lead me down the path of depression with the heartbreak of now having to face the world as a single parent of 4 without income. I now need to buy another vehicle as I watch my finances crumble before me. I haven't been in the workforce for 10 years and hate the idea of having to go back with inflation now on the rise.

Besides I'm only available for half of each month to work since I have the kids the other half of the month. They're not old enough to be alone yet. With the rise of rent prices (inflation), limited availability to work and lack of decent paying jobs, what am I to do?! Go on welfare?

I'm on the clock now facing the unknown as a result of these compounding choices of the recent past. Hello discomfort. To hold a lack mentality here is to accept rock bottom.

Now imagine if I were out of shape physically as well and dealing with health issues. This would add lethargy and difficulty finding will power to correct these challenges. Mole hills can become mountains when the body is out of shape. This scenario would only further the downward spiral.

So what to do about it? Reach greater potential!

The Attitude of Fortitude Framework

1) Seek understanding to find acceptance

Forgive the loss and the person who caused it--including yourself. To find understanding in others is to find peace within. Seek the benefit that it brings which in my case is to awaken the iron will to succeed rather than be stagnant and comfortable (sitting on savings).

Instead of dwelling on the fact that I was fooled and getting angry about it (to satisfy my ego) I instead seek solutions. To seek solutions is to find acceptance ASAP so that you can move forward without harboured negative emotions.

Accept that people sometimes live by taking advantage rather than serving others. Those who live this way will be served their karma without you having to get back at or react to them.

The cosmos has rules and nobody is exempt from those rules. I know that my Tinder girlfriend will get hers without my involvement.

This avoids entertaining the idea of a vengeance mindset. I don't feel obligated to teach her a stern lesson because she's so far away and clearly would not care. This allows to me preserve my energy and put it toward productivity.

The law of the cosmos has me covered. This is not just a theory, it's a personal truth which I've proven time and time again.

When you lie to others you will be lied to, when you take advantage of others you will be taken advantage of. On the contrary when you serve others and help out, you will be helped and served. The currency of the cosmos is intentions.

Your heart receives the same degrees of good or bad that you dish out. Life is magnetic. High vibes attract high vibes. Low brings low.

On that note I can say that I've never taken advantage of anybody at a magnitude such as defrauding 41k. I ask myself "So what did I do to deserve this?", "Why did this happen?"

Upon reflection I found that it is to guide me into sharing this story with you. It's to motivate me into serving others today from the depth of my heart and to awaken an eagerness into self reliance.

This personal failure causes me to face the dilemma of going back to the workforce (which I hate the idea of) or forge the path to monetize my skills and passions.

2) Act now to solve issues one at a time

When the walls come crumbling down seek solutions to each problem and solve them one at a time. Pain is a signal to integrate and find ways to solve that pain.

When I realised I lost the $41,000, I remained calm and reached a place of acceptance. I took the steps to report the issue to authorities and took the actions within my control. I did so with acceptance that I may not see that money again. Water off a duck's back!

I designed a schedule of productivity to work toward my goals and it's being followed to this day.

The only way to success is to take steps, be willing to fail, readjust/refine then continue taking steps. This is the mindset of resilience which is a prerequisite of a success. There's no hacks or shortcuts.

Consistency is your best friend.

3) Realise there is always hope

Everyone has issues at different magnitudes. The magnitude of the issues are defined only by your attitude toward them.

Challenges arise but it's in how you see them that dictates how rapidly you overcome or go around them. You can either enable or disable yourself by a single decision.

I'm now consistently writing and honouring my craft with unshakeable discipline. There's true leverage over challenge when using energy constructively instead of destructively (self sabotage).

Use temporary defeat to channel unwasted energy into potential greatness. Nothing can stop your will.

Cut your losses and move forward with a solution based mindset. This empowers you out of a place of fear to a place of purpose.

You're equipped to handle all life's challenges and they always offer the seed of growth.

To make the inner conditions right, you can use meditation with intention - because once thought waves of the mind are quiet answers arise. Ask a question before meditating, then empty your mind (observe thoughts that arise and let them pass until they cease).

If your mind races, aim to slow your thoughts to return back to the simplicity of your breath. This achieves a spaciousness (nothingness).

In nothingness there are infinite possibilities. This is where you find true answers. Ideas and answers will come the more you practise meditation.

Meditation can be tedious at first but it's a tremendous tool in the face of challenge. The purpose of meditation is to end suffering because it finds solutions to what's causing it.

Stillness (meditation) is where you harness the power of your consciousness. Otherwise the chatter of your mind often blocks answers so it's difficult to solve life's challenges.

In a nutshell meditation fuels solutions by finding hidden answers to act upon.

4) Be Decisive

Another tool of empowerment is to be decisive. If you're unsure of which path to take, simply decide and go all in.

Design a schedule and stick to it. It's possible to change paths down the road if after a fair trial you find that it's not for you. To give up though at the first sign of failure or challenge is disservice to you.

Adjustments are best made using challenge and failure to refine the path to success. They are useful building blocks. The experience of trial and error is invaluable.

5) Experiment to find what works

I've discovered much by experimenting with diet and various exercise regimes to finally find optimal results for my goals. You discover truths by embracing new ideas and putting them into practise. Experience is the greatest teacher!

Over time the solution based actions you take will compound into the rebuilding of your life with increased fortitude. This is why they say "Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". Of course it only makes you stronger if you take the lessons from challenge.

6) Physical Fitness

Fitness also plays a major role in resilience. If you're weak and overweight you get bogged down mentally by the physical ails that come with those states.

Being fit prepares you for life’s challenges. It is a big component of mental fortitude.

The most time efficient physical training style is High Intensity Training (HIT). I explain HIT in detail in a previous article here:

Summary

Letting go of loss can be a powerful tool in itself because it allows you to move forward immediately rather than waste time moaning and groaning about it. It's particularly important to forgive the loss rather than instantly engage in action-taking as a distraction.

This accelerates you into the focus on what you want to manifest NOW. It paves the high road to inspiration as opposed to defeat.

To keep good physical health is to always have a platform for clarity and a state of well being. A solution based mindset works well in conjunction with an optimal body.

It's easy to get lost in the noise of life which can create a chaotic mind. To set aside time to meditate regularly quiets the mind chatter to produce more "aha!" moments. This of course leads to answers you wouldn't have found without quieting of the mind.

If you face challenges today, realize you are not alone and there are tools to dig you out of the hole you think you're in. Adopt the Attitude of Fortitude framework to lift you into your greatest potential by closing the gap between loss and action toward correction.

I wish you unshakeable resilience!

With love,

-Kristien