6 Ways to Overcome Porn Addiction

For 20 years I struggled with porn addiction. I never in a million years thought I'd be able to give it up. I never actually wanted to until my wife at the time expressed a problem with it. She felt less-than and I was very into her so I chose to shift my attention to her instead.

Over time I committed to making effort to dwindle porn out of my life. I made progress over time and in the beginning stages the urge to porn kept resurfacing. At times I could overcome it but other times it seemed impossible.

I'd been gripped by it for 2 decades so it was a hard wired program by this point. Either way I stayed committed to the process.

Throughout intimate relationships I never really felt comfortable connecting with my partner. I'd always feel shy to express myself sexually the way I wanted.

Insecurity around being judged is the root of it. The instant gratification generated from watching porn removed the necessity to overcome that and other intimacy obstacles.

So I became stuck in a rut of weakness. Porn was an escape from anxiety, sadness or any other "fill in the blank" negative emotion. If my wife didn't want to sleep with me for any reason I'd turn to porn to alleviate resentment.

After a while I became fed up with the mindfuck of it all. One day I remember I proposed to my wife that we become polyamorous because I saw some people who were happy with it on some popular talk show.

Her immediate reaction was that she wanted a divorce but then we talked it out over time and eventually agreed to it.

I liked the idea of another guy connecting with her. It was a turn on, but this stems from my mentality that had been shaped and tainted by porn.

On my end the idea of connecting with other women was more exciting to me than being with my wife. It's like shiny object syndrome. People like new shiny things in their lives because we take what we have for granted until it's lost.

I contemplated my wife being with someone else but couldn't quite feel confident about it. It's easy to imagine me with someone but when it came to her that's a different story.

As time past she started a connection with a guy long distance so I felt I should prepare for a time when they actually connected. I became driven to self excellence in ways I knew best.

I kept my physical fitness in order and began research into relationships and the art of being single. I applied all techniques learned immediately including semen retention. That was something I'd learned from various spiritual sources.

With all the porn I'd watched over the years it became very hard for me to connect with women at a neutral level. I felt awkward to talk to women because of my hard wired porn addicted mind.

It was my own insecurity that built up so strongly. It was fucking prison, plain and simple.

I longed to be able to simply talk to women from a neutral space - so my practise began of attaining that level of comfort. The practise of not objectifying women anymore.

I stopped checking women out every chance I could. I gravitated toward self purification from the grip of lust. Lust had me in a choke hold for too many years.

It was my time to rise above. I embraced the journey without knowing the outcome. Over time I became detached from the sexual control that once ruled me.

Lo and behold, what I'd always thought was the impossible, I finally defeated. To this day I am confident to say I've conquered the porn monster. I no longer have these compulsive needs.

This phoenix has risen from the ash and will never revisit that head space. So I tell you, even if it seems impossible it can be done. I am the living proof.

So how did I overcome this addiction? How can you do the same?

1) Shift your focus to a real woman

Porn wires lust into your brain which furthers you from real connection. As a first step to wean yourself off, shift your focus back to the real world. Ie. A real woman of interest.

If she's already in your life you can bring your lusty energy to her instead. If you're single, think of someone that can be a muse to your transformation.

Women are increasingly attainable once you rid yourself of porn. You will no longer carry guilt or shame around with you. The path to purity offers self confidence because of the strive for integrity.

2) Keep in mind the "Why" behind kicking the habit

Remember the benefits of discarding porn addiction. It will guide you to freedom from your diseased self. The big picture is that it will lead you to be able to connect with real women in the world.

Whether it's your current partner or a new relationship, removing porn urges you to self betterment. It fosters personal growth in the direction of making desirable connections happen for you.

If you're not getting off on porn you'll have the will to fulfil those desires in the real world. Where there's a will there's a way and you'll find the organic path best suited for you.

After discarding porn I had an increased eagerness toward things like working out, spiritual awareness and edging my comfort zone to form social connections. It gives incentive to learn to interact with the real world instead of the computer screen.

Another benefit to remember in this process is that you will be able to be aroused more naturally than having to look at hardcore visuals. These visuals become a crutch to your arousal.

After eliminating them you'll regain a healthy ability to arouse without that dependency.

3) Keep in mind the "Why" behind not kicking the habit

It is important to be consequential in life. Remind yourself of the idea that each time you look at porn you're furthering your ability to connect with real women.

They're repelled by your guilty energy when you're looking them down with lusty eyes. This closes the door to what you really want. The door to real ecstatic love opens by purifying yourself from the corruption of porn.

Porn is a disease. When you rid yourself of it you become more magnetic to women. Quality women are drawn to men who are not controlled by compulsive needs.

4) Be OK without sex

Being ok without sex or a partner at all is a masculine quality. The masculine is ok with being alone because his purpose in life is his mission. In fact a man who’s not wasting his seed with chronic masturbation can transmute this energy into great success in any endeavour he chooses.

The opposite of being mission driven is the feminine, who lives to nurture intimate relationship.

5) Avoid gateway substances

If I smoke pot I turn to immediate pleasures more often thus I found this to be a vice on my journey to overcoming the porn addiction. If you can relate to this, minimise the use of any substance that may inhibit you from reaching your goal.

You can reintroduce substance once you feel you have a handle on things (after a full month of being clean).

6) Reap the benefits of semen retention

The orgasm is the most powerful release from pain for men; but it's too often used to escape negative emotions. Stop running. A masculine man strengthens himself by examining himself and not being afraid of that.

When you retain your semen you're forced to face yourself and grow out of dis-serving emotional patterns. You are no longer running but instead confronting the program (personal conditioning and habits).

Additionally, spiritual teachers advocate for retaining your seed because it is very powerful energy that can be used to manifest your dreams. The book Think and Grow Rich has an entire chapter dedicated to sexual transmutation which ties in with this.

If you're constantly releasing your seed you're wasting that energy. Try holding your semen for at least 7 days at a time at first, then slowly go for longer periods to build this powerful energy.

When the energy builds it helps unlock your inner genius. It also shows parts of you that need healing because you're not ejaculating and escaping pain. You're instead facing it for what it is and moving through emotions with a conscious mind.

This is fertile soil for growth. Self observe, self correct, grow, repeat. The more you do this the stronger you become but it's a gradual process so you may not notice but over time others who aren't around you often are able to notice change.

There's nothing wrong with cumming either so remember to keep a positive mindset around your sexuality. If you succumb to the urge, that's fine. Don't shame yourself.

These are tools to use with intent as a guideline for the sake of finding what works best for you. You can see it as a challenge for yourself without attachment to immediate success.

There are two paths to choose from, between lust or love. Porn leads to the path of lust whereas love leads to real connection. Each path has its own set of consequences:

To sum things up,

Lust is the most commonly ingrained human disease and society has corrupted the sacred act of sex.

The more you invest yourself into porn the more you lose your power and succumb to negative emotions. The more you retract from its grip, the more power you retain.

I wish you great success in overcoming the world's most powerful drug. Liberate yourself from the disease to embrace your greatest potential.

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Ready to finally quit porn?

I offer a 1-on-1 recovery program where I'll help you quit for good in 60 days or less.

I welcome you to book a free call with me at the link below (completely confidential):

If the available time slots don't work for you, please send an email to [email protected] and I'll reach out to you with a few alternative times.

With love,

-Kristien